Guiding With Balance and Dealing With Toxicity

Finding a balance in life is difficult enough, but when you try to find balance as a Guide, that task becomes harder. Many people think being a Guide is easy, that it’s a matter of mentoring someone and telling them what to do, but it’s quite the opposite for me at least. Guides work in different ways, and each ‘charge’ is different and you have to adapt to their ways, and know how far to push them or when to hold back. However, what do you do when a ‘charge’ is being difficult? What if they are rude, abusive, toxic, and they attack you? As a Guide you can opt to walk away, but it’s not so easy because the Guide is supposed to be there to offer support so that they learn not to behave in such a manner. When do you as a Guide decide when enough is enough, and that any bond or agreement must be broken? The bond with a ‘charge’ is always transient and the Guide has the free will to sever the bond whenever necessary, or to let the bond loosen naturally over time.

Guiding is also about balance, for a Guide must be able to function without being attacked. I’ve encountered several charges (mainly young souls) who have been rude, and unappreciative of my role as in they took it for granted. They are hard work and I’ll admit I sigh when a young soul that has anger or entitlement issues crosses my path. I prefer to steer clear of them because I don’t need to be ‘tested’, and I have enough ‘charges’ to deal with already, and an additional attention seeking toddler in a grown up form is quite frankly exhausting. I find a Mature Soul is best suited to guiding them because it allows the Mature Soul can see how far it has come, and will be able to relate more readily to the behaviors of a younger soul. We must also give Souls a chance, and take into consideration any extenuating factors, but when those have been exhausted then it’s time to step aside, and perhaps let someone else take over.

The question is, how many chances can you give before you decide it’s not working? There is no answer to that, because each situation is unique, but when the actions of the ‘charge’ affects your life, and other duties then that is a sign that the ‘charge’ doesn’t wish to learn. Often a young soul will say they are learning, but that’s what they wish to believe, but they want to know what they are learning before they have learned it! Impatience, arrogance, and impulsiveness are traits many have, although they aren’t confined to young souls alone. When a Guide realizes that the ‘charge’ is lying, and that they have no desire to learn but like to have the crutch of a Guide, then it’s time to leave. That doesn’t mean the Guide has failed, but that the ‘charge’ isn’t in a place or is ready to learn. Many give the appearance of wishing to learn and use the Guide to validate or blame them for their choices which is the opposite of learning!

Sometimes a Guide will ‘fail’, and at first that was hard to reconcile, but a teacher can’t teach a student who refuses to open their books or to help one that pretends to listen or read. A Guide can opt to be patient and to wait (which happens in family Soul Groups), or a Guide can opt to leave if they don’t feel progress is possible. It’s like all relationships in that it goes both ways, and if one party doesn’t do their part, then the relationship will get fractured and will end.

During the process, a Guide may have to endure some temper tantrums and some difficult behaviors and words, and it’s up to the Guide as to when they decide if things have gone too far. As much as a Guide would like to ‘nip things in the bud’, that’s not always possible, and the greatest lesson a Guide can give their ‘charge’ is for them to cut the cord rather than allow it to break naturally. This teaches the ‘charge’ a lesson in that they can’t treat others poorly or to take them for granted, and the Guide also learns in that they know they can’t help the Soul, for at present they aren’t receptive to learning. Many don’t realize the damaging effect this can have on a Guide, as some may see cutting a cord as ruthless or even as a failure, but in hindsight the ‘charge’ may realize what the Guide had taught them. Don’t forget that a Guide has other charges, and that they must use their energies and resources wisely, and if one ‘charge’ is destructive, then it harms the other ‘charges’ under the Guide’s care because their energy and time has been used up in a less constructive manner.

Remember, a Guide is never responsible for a ‘charge’ and their choice of actions, and they are there to guide, and it’s up to the charge to decide to listen and to act. Many give the impression that they are listening, but in some cases they are merely shocked at what they have heard, and then dismiss it and do what they want regardless. That’s frustrating for a Guide, which is why one must use their instinct rather than to read or listen to their words which can be empty and meaningless. Finding a balance between mentoring and reprimanding is never easy as a Guide, but toxic ‘charges’ can be dangerous as their energy can weigh down, and suck the energies of the Guide, and thus the Guide may not be able to assist their other charges as effectively. It’s not a matter of choosing who to assist, but to assist those who need and accept the help offered, rather than those who want the attention and claim to wish to learn.

Some Guides may feel guilty for abandoning their ‘charges’ if they are toxic, but many will use manipulative tactics in order to backtrack, or make empty apologies, but a Guide should never feel guilty for they have done nothing wrong. They have simply taken control and decided what is best for their Soul, and that is important and is also a lesson each Guide must learn. Deciding on boundaries and how to tackle them with difficult ‘charges’ is a challenge that is unique to each ‘charge’, and that’s why one must rely on intuition. Each of us has limits and boundaries, and while we can stretch them from time to time, they exist so that as a Guide, a balance can be maintained.

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