Childhood Instincts and The Higher Self

If you remember your childhood in detail from what you said, thought, and the decisions you made, it’s likely you are an Old or Ancient Soul as you still retain echoes of the Higher Self that help you settle into the new incarnation. As you learn to adapt to the new surroundings and Soul Connections (some new and others familiar) the Higher Self steps back in order for the Soul to learn the lessons they had planned.

This is why the first five or so years of a child are so important from a spiritual perspective, because it gives you clues as to their prior lives (habits and likes), who their Soul Group are (those they are drawn to), and what their possible Soul Goals are (ambitions). I can only tell you of mine, and will share these upon reflection and interpret them as best as I can objectively.

The first thing you should know about me is that I believe in truth and justice at all costs, and that means if a friend or family member has committed a crime, I will not hesitate to call the police. I’m loyal, but I believe in honesty more, and that means when I make a mistake I will own up to it no mater what the consequence, and I’ve paid the price on several occasions. I have a relatively clear conscience, let’s put it that way, but it allows me to put things in perspective and not be biased. It’s gotten me into hot water, with my telling a teacher who was responsible for the noise when she left the classroom when I was about seven, and when I had to fire my best friend from a job as she was useless. Neither went down well, but it was the right thing to do and I never hesitated for a moment.

I was inspired to write this as I was reading of a socialite who was talking about her boarding school friends, and how they were like family to her, mainly as they knew the real her, and spent her formative years and time growing up with them, rather than her actual family. I think back to my childhood, and unlike today (adult life) where there are pressures of deadlines, acting politically correct, peer pressure, social media influences, and battling the generational divides in society (sorry, this was never an issue until millenials turned up, but society is responsible for nurturing them too), our instincts are compromised whether we are conscious of it or not. As a child they are not, and from this you can see a raw version of the Soul, complete, uncompromised, genuine, and individual. Yes, a parent may have some control and influence, but not over Old or Ancient Souls who already know what they want and what they think. That’s why some are followers and easily influenced, and others are stubborn for no apparent reason.

Much of what I recall has been backed up by photos I have seen in later life, and what my parents remember. By their own admission I was a near perfect baby and toddler; I only ever cried for my feed at 7 a.m. (not too early) and could chew solid food at three months and feed myself (there’s a photo of me eating a chicken drumstick), and I was quiet, but bossy at times telling my parents off, and was very particular about what I wore. I didn’t like attention, and loved reading, and if I didn’t like someone I would walk away or hide to get away from them (which I still do). I recall many incidents in great detail including how I felt whether it was happiness or fear, and even a sense of injustice.

Our childhood instincts should be nurtured, because they are aided by the Higher Self, so you do know what is right or wrong, without having to think about it. When I look back at some of the things I said, how I reacted, and what I thought, I know it wasn’t quite normal. I don’t regret things much, but I do wonder why I made those decisions at such a young age with no frame of reference. Was I guided by my emotions, or pure soul instinct? Children shouldn’t theoretically be telling their parents off and I knew that, yet I did and mine actually complied and still do (most of the time). I used to protect my brother from my parents, oncoming traffic, and gold digging girlfriends even though he was mean to me. I later realized I did this to rebalance karmic issues rather than out of sisterly love. Right now we’re square, so my debt to protect is no longer and I feel a burden of responsibility lifted.

There were clues too about my prior incarnations in what I liked and my skills. This is why it’s important to recognize what children are afraid of or what they are drawn to. It wasn’t until my adult years that some of my choices seemed to make some kind of sense, and they still are. I am drawn to apple trees, although I don’t like apples I do like apple juice. In a prior life, I used to own apple orchards and would tend them daily. I asked my mother to buy one as a child and she refused, only to buy one accidentally as she liked the blossom. I had actually made a wish in the wishing well too, so maybe that helped? I am quite comforted when I see them and also oak trees although apparently I was hanged from one at least once.

One vivid recollection was when my brother was about to be punished for something and I took the blame. Apparently one parent had seen the incident and punished me for lying and locked me in the cellar. Naturally I protested and told the truth, that I lied so my brother wouldn’t get beaten. There was no justice and from then on if my parents couldn’t control me I was locked in the cellar, and in the end I just made my way there before they ordered me to go. For some reason I accepted it, and made the most of it by hiding in a loose brick a penlight and a book, so I made the best of the situation. I knew as a child I had little power, and I don’t think they ever knew, as I never complained about it, because they thought it was a punishment. In reality it was a quiet place for me to read without any interruptions. Perhaps in a former life I was unjustly imprisoned and I made the best of the situation and so it was second nature to me? I was so much more resilient than I am now strangely, as I knew which battles to choose, and made them work for me as a child. I could learn a lot from my younger self.

I liked to be alone much of the time, only because people were scared of me as I was clever. There wasn’t anything I could do about that and while I was bullied it did make me want to be accepted and liked, yet I knew I was very different to all my classmates growing up. I would feel more connected to some teachers or the dinner ladies than my peers. That didn’t stop me telling my teachers off either, and it surprised them and it’s a wonder I wasn’t reprimanded. Usually I was asked to stay behind and they had a chat, but I was never actually disciplined, maybe because they knew there was substance to my cause?

In later life I realized in the adult world you can’t get away with it that much. You may have a boss who says and does stupid things and asks you to do the same, but if you speak up you run the risk of getting fired. My colleagues in my last job told me after a meeting they couldn’t believe what I did, which was tell the director her idea was ridiculous and she couldn’t do it. Yet, they applauded me as it was the right thing, but no one had dared speak up. I actually got my way, and the incident involved a member of staff who was caught lying about being ill so she could go to a Christmas party that evening. The client was at the party and told us they were not pleased. Naturally we had to let her go, but my director said we should keep her on and pay her as a standby member of staff. I put my foot down and said no, because when I confronted the member of staff she still lied about it, until I said the client saw her, and changed her story and admitted it. As we were an agency, we had to keep the client happy or lose the account, so it was a no brainer to let go of a staff member that had lied to the client so obviously.

My brother and I are so very different, even though we had the same upbringing and there is less than a year between us. That’s why it doesn’t always matter where you are brought up or who brought you up, as underneath our Souls already have their discernments. The role of an incarnation is to hone some of those traits and to learn others. We can be influenced by our surroundings though, and those around us, but only if we choose to allow that to happen. I do not believe we are all products of our environment. Locals where I was born and brought up always struggle to believe I was brought up in the area. I don’t think, act, or sound like any of them, quite simply because I don’t get influenced easily.

When it comes to food, I’ve always had an aversion to Indian food, and even the smell makes me ill, yet I do like some spicy food with chilies. I did try it with disastrous results, and I dread it when people suggest a group dinner at an Indian as I can’t go. Certain food smells upset me and put me in a bad mood and I can’t explain why, such as celery. Even in the supermarket I have to run past it, and raw tomatoes, just to look at them makes me feel ill, yet I like tomato ketchup and tomato sauce with my pasta, although recently I was brave enough to have a bowl of tomato soup as there was nothing else on the menu for vegetarians. Perhaps in my prior lives these foods had caused an illness that led to a death or maybe I was poisoned? I’m uncertain, but there is a reason why we are afraid of some foods with no logical reason.

During my childhood I loved eating lobster, I’m not sure why, but as a vegetarian these days I no longer eat them, but recall as a child enjoying them as if they had been a regular meal. It was as if it was a familiar thing, and today I wouldn’t have a clue how to eat a lobster, and I knew so much more then as a 5 or 6 year old and would order it without hesitation. As an adult now, I know that normal 5 year olds don’t order lobster and know how to eat it without help. I can’t explain it, yet I guess my parents thought it was normal.

Even though I wear a lot of black (practical) I do like red coats and purple trousers, and for the latter I don’t know why. The red coats and capes I discovered was a favorite item of clothing in a former life, and they make me feel comfortable and secure for some reason. As a child I had a favorite red cape I would wear all the time, and a multicolored hooded jacket I wore until the sleeves were too short.

It’s ironic some of the things I knew how to do instinctively as a child (with no guidance) are not as instantaneous to me as an adult. I think to myself, if I’ve done it before I must have the knowledge to do it again somewhere tucked away in my brain. The problem is our minds get weighed down with unnecessary physical realm matters that are in effect transient, but are still important like tax forms. As a child I was so more spontaneous and I didn’t need to stop to think about things. I just did what came naturally, whereas now I am conditioned to think about the consequences of my actions more than what is the right thing to do.

If we look back at our childhood thoughts and actions, we see our Higher Self helping to anchor the Soul. That’s your true Soul and why you can connect with the Higher Self at any given time, as it’s always there as long as you are being honest with yourself. The key is being honest about what you have done, said, and thought and why those who try to pretend struggle to connect to the Higher Self. My Higher Self is a part of me that I have learned to tone down here on the physical realm, because it is very direct and at times unemotional. In order to me to remain true to myself, and not to alienate too many folks, I have had to find a balance, and I now realize why I had no friends as a child, although I learned to live with it and it didn’t upset me. One must remember the Higher Self is in another dimension for a reason and it is to guide on certain issues, and not to live in the physical realm. As children we are honest with ourselves and others, and sometimes I wonder why as we grow up we mask truths and accept deceit and dishonesty to keep the peace? It’s not logical, but that is one of the questions in humanity that can never be answered.


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